The Do's and Don'ts of The Inkworld
by InternMaureenFromNightVale
Summary: The title says it all. The Do's and Don'ts of the Inkworld, Along With the Why's. A Companion Piece to Inkheart: The Guide by Pink Pigeon
1. Chapter 1

**The Do's and Don'ts of the Inkworld Along With the Why's**

**A Companion Piece to **_**Inkheart: The Guide**_

**"Don't" Number One: Do NOT Stalk Dustfinger**

**Why:**

Reason 1: He's married.

Reason 2: He has kids.

Reason 3: Roxane will get mad. Which would be bad.

Reason 4: It irritates him.

Reason 5: You will be banned from the Inkworld for an indefinite amount of time.

Reason 6: We're still searching for the last fangirl who stalked him...

**What Happens:**

Once there was a fangirl named Jane Doe who decided to go to the Inkworld and stalk Dustfinger. Unfortunately, she didn't understand the concept of stalking so, when she asked Dustfinger for an autograph, he caught her. The next day, a Council member was taking a lovely stroll through the woods, and found footprints, and scorch marks on the trees. We still haven't found poor, young, Jane.

**"Do" Number One: DO Leave Dustfinger Alone**

**Why:**

1: He'll probably like you better if you do.

2: Roxane will like you better. (You don't want to see her mad)

3: You will not be banned from visiting the Inkworld.

4: He's married. (Many people forget this)

5: He has kids. (people forget this also)

6: Jane Doe. (read the above story)

**What happens:**

After Jane Doe didn't come back from the Inkworld, her sister, Jill Doe, decided to go in for herself. She watched one of Dustfinger's performances, and decided that Jane had probably attacked him for an autograph and he did something fire related to Jane. Deciding she really didn't like her sister that much, she didn't care that Dustfinger most likely killed Jane. When the performance was over she politely clapped, and walked away. Dustfinger decided he wouldn't hurt her, as long as she kept up the polite behavior. As of today, Jill is still on Dustfinger's Do-Not-Hurt list, and is still in the Inkworld, because she followed the rules.

For a more indepth documentation on survival in the Inkworld, see _Inkheart: The Guide _by Pink Pigeon.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Do's and Don'ts of the Inkworld Along With the Why's**

**A Companion Piece to Inkheart: The Guide**

**"Don't" Number Two: Don't Sell the Villains Any Weapons From Our World, No Matter What. Actually, Don't Even Bring Any Weapons.**

**Why:**

Reason 1: Hello! They're villains. Duh.

Reason 2: They could betray you if they promise you a reward.

Reason 3: Everyone else in the Inkworld will hate you.

Reason 4: You will be banned from the Inkworld _forever_!

Reason 5: The Inkworld as we know it could be destroyed. And that's kinda bad.

**What Happens:**

Once a boy named John West decided to help the Inkworld villains, in exchange for ruling part of the Inkworld. He sold them some bazookas, machine guns, and grenades. After practically destroying the Inkworld,they betrayed him, took his wallet, dog, and dignity, and left him alone in the woods. The next day a Council member found him, immediately escorted him out of the Inkworld, and took away his Reader and Traveler powers (yes, the Council can do that. They're just that awesome).

**"Do" Number Two: Do Keep All Weapons From Our World Out of the Inkworld.**

**Why:**

1: The Inkworld will stay safe.

2: You will have friends in the Inkworld.

3: You will be allowed in the Inkworld.

4: The Inkworld will stay safe, as we know it.

**What Happens:**

A few days after John West returned from the Inkworld, his brother, Jack West, decided to see what the Inkworld was like. Although everyone was hostile toward him at first, since he was John West's identical twin, they soon realized he had no weapons, and Jack became good friends with mostly everyone in the Inkworld. As of today, the Inkworld is still safe and John West is living peacefully in it.

For a more indepth documentation of survival in the Inkworld, see_ Inkheart: The Guide_ by Pink Pigeon.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Do's and Don'ts of The Inkworld Along With The Why's**

**A Companion Piece to Inkheart: The Guide**

**"Don't" Number Three: Don't Try to Train a Night-Mare and Keep It As a Pet**

**Why:**

Reason 1: They would probably kill you before you can get close enough to catch it. Then your parents would sue us. Suing causes problems for both the Council and the whole Inkworld.

Reason 2: If it doesn't kill you, it will most likely kill someone else, which would also cause a problem.

Reason 3: Everyone is scared to death of them, and would therefore avoid you.

Reason 4: Night-Mares are an endangered species.

Reason 5: You will lose your Reader/Traveler license.

**What Happens:**

Bob and Joe Wilkins were young boys obsessed with Night-Mares. After having read the Inkheart series, they went off to find a Reader to read them into the Wayless Woods. After finding a Night-Mare and attempting to train it, Bob was killed quite painfully. After his brother's death, Joe made a second attempt at capturing and training a Night-Mare. He supposedly succeeded and rode through a small town on the outskirts of Ombra called Ranchomoga, and his Night-Mare ended up killing half the town's population. The survivor's obviously did their best to avoid going anywhere near him, so Joe got very lonely. One man managed to alert the Council about the situation, and a member immediately released the creature back ito the Woods, informed Joe that it was an endangered species, and their capture is highly illegal, not to mention dangerous. Joe was escorted out of the Inkworld, and relieved of his Reader/Traveler license. For the next few weeks, the whole Inkworld was in an uproar. The Council was facing lawsuits from the Wilkins's parents and the half of Ranchomoga that survived. All Arrival stations were closed, and Travelling was strictly forbidden until things had been settled, which wasn't for a good eight months.

**"Do" Number Two: When Going Through the Inkworld, Please Leave the Monsters Alone**

**Why:**

Reason 1: No one will die. Hopefully.

Reason 2: People won't avoid you.

Reason 3: The population of monsters might come out of endangerment.

Reason 4: You can stay in the Inkworld.

**What happens:**

Friends of the Wilkins brothers, Mary and Sue, decided to go to the Inkworld for spring break. On their way through the Wayless Wood, they stayed on the marked path, left the monsters alone, and they both made it out alive. As they went through Ranchomoga, they were greeted kindly and informed about the monster endangerment dilemma. Sue and Mary have now started multiple monster protection programs. As of right now, they are still living peacefully in the Inkworld.

For a more indepth documentation on survival in the Inkworld, see _Inkheart: The Guide_ by Pink Pigeon.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Do's and Don'ts of the Inkworld Along With the Why's**

**A Companion Piece to Inkheart: The Guide**

**"Don't" Number Four: Don't Ask for a Book of Immortality**

**Why:**

Reason 1: It would be considered Bartering with death. Which is against the rules.*

Reason 2: Death would be mad about your immunity to her, and go after your friends and family instead.

Reason 3: They have been banned by the Council.

Reason 4: You will be kicked out of the Inkworld _forever_. Wouldn't that suck?

Reason 5: The White Women would be mad. That wouldn't be good.

**What Happens:**

Marianne Susanna Grace (Mary Sue for short), was a young girl who thought she was so perfect, she should live forever and bless people with her presence. She visited the Inkworld, and somehow attained the a Book of Immortality. The White Women went on a rampage when they heard, and immediately started taking revenge on Mary Sue's family. An innocent bystander called the Council, and explained the problem. Being the busy people they are (actually, they were just lazy), the Council took two weeks to attend to the problem, by which time Mary Sue had no family left. She was immediately escorted out of the Inkworld, while the populace decide to throw a bonfire, and had fun burning the wretched book.

**"Do" Number Four: Do Refrain From Contacting Death Before Your Time**

**Why:**

Reason 1: You can stay in the Inkworld.

Reason 2: You will not be in trouble with the White Women

Reason 3: Your family will (most likely) stay safe.

Reason 4: You will not be in trouble with the Council.

Reason 5: Death is a jerk, and you probably wouldn't want to meet her early, anyway.

**What Happens:**

Stacy Grace, Mary Sue's nemesis, decided to thank the Inkworld for keeping Mary Sue from becoming immortal. Although she was tempted by the idea of talking to Death, she resisted the urge, kept her family safe, is good friends with the Council, and keeps a vacation home in the Inkworld. The White Women pay no more attention to her than any other normal person, so all is well.

***See the "I Will Not" section of Inkheart: The Guide**

For a more indepth documentation on survival in the Inkworld, see _Inkheart: The Guide _by Pink Pigeon


	5. Chapter 5

**The Do's and Don'ts of the Inkworld Along With the Why's**

**A Companion Piece to Inkheart the Guide

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**

"**Don't" Number Five: Don't Bring cellphones, radio's, or telephones into the Inkworld

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**

**Why:**

Reason 1: Electricity hasn't been invented, let alone cellphones or gameboys

Reason 2: You will scare the residents of the Inkworld. Badly.

Reason 3: Dustfinger probably doesn't want to see another cellphone again.

Reason 4: They probably don't work anyway.

Reason 5: I mean, come on, there are no cell towers, or radio towers, or telephone lines.

Reason 6: If you're still alive, which I highly doubt, your electronics will go straight to my pocket. (I'm still missing an I-phone, just so you know)

**What happens:**

Once a stereotypical teenager named Tiffany Von Drake decided to go to the Inkworld. Since she was stereotypical, she couldn't go anywhere without her cellphone, because life without texting would be so terrible (Not!). When she arrived in Ombra, she sat down on the nearest barrel and tried to text her friend.

"Like, OMG! I can't get any cell reception!" She screamed, receiving the attention of many merchants.

"Aaaah! A witch!" One cried. "Burn her!"

"Like, what's going on?" asked a very frightened Tiffany. Dustfinger had seen what was going on, and was going to stop it, when he saw Tiffany's cellphone. He got so angry he decided to be the one to burn the girl. Since then the Council has banned all electronics from entering the inkworld.

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"**Do" Number Five: Do Abstain from brining electronics into the Inkworld

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**

**Why:**

Reason 1: You will not be perceived as a witch

Reason 2: Dustfinger, hopefully, will not kill you. Note I said hopefully.

Reason 3: The townspeople will not kill you. For that reason.

**What happens:**

Delilah Handforth was a young girl who decided to visit the Inkworld over spring break. She read _Inkheart: the Guide _and this book, and heard the Tragic Tale of Tiffany, so she just so happened to "Forget" her cellphone and leave it on her bed. Upon arriving in the Ombra market place, No one saw anything suspicious about her, so no one harmed her. Yet.

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**For a more indepth documentation of the Inkworld, see **_**Inkheart: The Guide **_**by Pink Pigeon.**


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